Heart attack, bells and "diabetes": these words make your ears bleed (and not because of an emergency)

In the world of first aid, you learn to save lives, perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, use a defibrillator, and bandage an ankle like a medical ninja. But what you don't always learn... is how to speak properly. Because, between you and me, there are some words we hear so often that we lose track of whether we're in a first aid course or an episode of a comedy sketch.

So, if you've ever heard someone say they had a heart attack , got blisters from a burn, that their aunt has diabetes , and that their youngest child has asthma … you'll recognize yourself. And if not, well… hang on, because it's coming.

Let's start strong with the infamous "infractus." You know, the guy who collapses in the middle of a game of bean bag toss at the campground and his girlfriend panics: "Quick, call someone! He's had an infractus!" Uh… excuse me? A what? Sounds like the name of some rejected Marvel supervillain. "Captain Infractus, Destroyer of Syntax." The correct word is infarctus , folks. IN-FARC-TUS. And it's not just for show: if you say just anything to the 911 operator, there's a good chance they won't understand, and then it's not just your pronunciation that's at stake, it's the guy's life. Nothing less.

Then there are the people who get burned and tell us all about it with great emotion: “I spilled oil on my arm and now these big blisters have sprouted.” Huh? Blisters? What did you do to your skin? We're not talking about Christmas bells, we're talking about a blister . With a Q, like in “What did you say?” A bell is in a bell tower. A blister is on your arm when you've been clever enough to grab a pot with your bare hands. One goes DING, the other goes OUCH.

And now, let's talk about an intergenerational classic: "diabetes ." Ah, "diabetes"... It comes back like an old Ginette Reno song. "My aunt has diabetes, and she can't eat fudge anymore." First of all, that's sad about the fudge. Secondly, it's not "diabetes," it's THE diabetes . It's not a lady you greet at church, it's a disease. Give it the proper gender, and a little respect while you're at it. Because if you have a hypoglycemic episode, it's not the time to use the wrong word. You want sugar, not a grammar lesson.

And my favorite: “l'apsme.” Oh, that one has a special place in the history of linguistic errors. “My boy has l'apsme, he almost turned purple on the bus.” L' Apsme , really? It sounds like a home alarm company: “With Apsme, breathe in peace!” The word you're looking for is asthma . Yes, it's hard to say. Yes, even adults stumble over it. But between you and me, if you're going to buy a $100 inhaler, you'd better know what it's called.

So, in short: if you want to do things right in first aid, start by calling a spade a spade. And a heart attack a heart attack. Because even if it's funny to hear at a family gathering, in a real emergency, it's a little less cute when no one understands what you're saying.

And if you don't know how to do it, well, come and take a course. We'll teach you how to bandage a sprain, how to perform CPR... and how to say "heart attack" without blushing.

📚 To chat about health without sounding like a fool:
👉 www.sauvezdesvies.ca
👉 www.supermedic.ca

Because saving lives is wonderful. But speaking well while doing it is even better. 😎